I don’t know if it’s by education and training or a personal obsession but I love to document things. So, I asked for the copies of every test results for my personal file. The nurse was going over the different documents when she said: “This is your CA marker. We will be monitoring this to see how you are responding to treatment.”
According to the National Institute of Cancer, tumor markers are substances that are produced by cancer or by other cells in the body in response to cancer or certain benign (noncancerous) conditions. Tumor markers may also be measured periodically during cancer therapy. A decrease in the level of a tumor marker or a return to the marker’s normal level may indicate that the cancer is responding to treatment, whereas no change or an increase may indicate that the cancer is not responding.
I went home and did my login to a discussion board of a website that I visit frequently. I realized that “Mr. CA Marker” was a pretty popular guy in that group of “Breast Cancer Stage 4”. I read phrases such as “my levels have been stable for the last 10 months” “my levels have been increasing for the last three months”, “My doctor is concerned, I will start another round of chemotherapy”… I left the discussion board.
Since, it was apparent that Mr. CA Marker was here to stay I decided to introduce him to Jesus and the conversation was something like this:
“Hello, let me introduce to you Mr. CA Marker” I said.
I had not finished the last word when the guy began with his speech.
“I’m the one who determines the success of her treatment“he said arrogantly.
Jesus said to me, “For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you” (Isaiah 41:13, NIV)
And he said: “I am the one who says if the cancer is gone or it has returned“
Jesus spoke to me: “I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me—” (John 10:14, NIV)
And Mr. CA Marker said louder, “I’m her lifelong companion from now on“
But Jesus kept saying, “I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more” (Isaiah 43:25, NIV)
Mr. CA Marker looked frustrated at this point and went silent. But Jesus kept talking…
“I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. They will come in and go out, and find pasture. (John 10: 9, NIV)
“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” (John 15: 5, NIV)
“This is what the Lord says—your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel: I am the Lord your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go.” (Isaiah 48:17, NIV)
“I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End.” (Revelation 22:13, NIV)
And finally He said to me, “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.” (Matthew 14:27, NIV)
Mr. CA Marker was absolutely shattered. He is definitely quieter now. I could say he is very shy actually. He does not live in my mind anymore, now he lives in a drawer of the nightstand.
Everyone has a “CA marker”. Perhaps it is a recurring sin, an addiction, a phobia, depression, loneliness, negative thoughts, low self-esteem, bitterness, a limitation, guilt, etc. There is always something that wants to be our lifelong companion. All of us have the choice to feed “our CA marker” with fear and make it more powerful. But instead, we may bring it to Jesus, the Incarnate Word of God. The One who can say with authority every “I Am” recorded in the Scripture because He is God.
All rights reserved. Rebecca Parrilla, May/2015.